Speaker's Digest March 2004
In this issue:
- Finding the Courage to Become a Better Speaker
- Presentation Training: Bottom Line Results
- Overcoming Stage Fright
Finding the Courage to Become a Better Speaker
There are two types of speakers: Those that are nervous and those that are liars. - Mark Twain
Here’s a news flash: it’s scary to speak in front of an audience. For many people, the act of standing up in front of a group is the most frightening thing they can imagine. It’s more intimidating than any of the slimy, creepy-crawly challenges ever faced by contestants on Fear Factor. According to the Book of Lists, public speaking is the top fear reported by people, eclipsing heights, bugs, darkness and even death.
What makes public speaking so imposing? We have a theory. Think back to the first time that you ever heard your voice on a tape recorder. Did you like hearing how you sounded? You probably listened and reacted: “that doesn’t sound like me!” But if others were listening along with you, they would have responded that the recorded voice they heard was definitely your voice.
When we see ourselves the way others perceive us, we are often surprised, shocked, even horrified at the results. Most people overreact when they watch or listen to audio or video recordings of themselves. They don’t like how their voice sounds, are surprised at seeing how they gesture, and look with disbelief and even despair at their use of non-words, unconscious habits, voice qualities and repetitive gestures.
Since we are our own worst critics, we assume that everyone will respond to seeing us the same way we respond to seeing ourselves. If everyone knew the real people inside of us, would they EVER pay serious attention to what we have to say? Those concerns open the doors to a host of other fears: of looking unprofessional, incompetent, or even stupid. Feeling inept in front of an audience of peers, colleagues, and supervisors is a downright scary proposition.
Seeing ourselves objectively
We regularly videotape participants in our seminars on public speaking. The taping offers a vital teaching tool: watching oneself on tape gives an individual a great opportunity to gain insight into how they are perceived by others.
Since it’s so hard for people to watch themselves objectively, we seldom leave our clients alone to view their own tape. We always have a trainer in place to watch it with them. For some, the presence of a trainer feels awkward and uncomfortable, even painful. But our job is to help our clients become better public speakers. We offer objective, constructive feedback that is vital to this learning process. While that feedback process doesn’t always feel nice or nurturing, it should feel purposeful and tied to the goal.
Our objective in the tape room is to help our clients view themselves as speakers, not as individuals. People react in many different ways when watching themselves, from laughing to crying, showing pain, discomfort and even disinterest. As trainers, our job is to help people get past their personal reactions to gain a more objective viewpoint. That’s no easy task. We encourage, cajole, joke, and even challenge people to help them find a place where they can examine their performance objectively.
Despite our best efforts, it’s still hard for some to watch their tapes. In those situations, we bring the constructive voice into the session. That’s another important role that trainers play. Consider, for example, what American Idol’s Simon Cowell brings to that TV reality show. He’s a music executive who knows what it takes to succeed in a highly competitive industry. His feedback is honest, straight, and fair, even if it sounds harsh, heartless and mean. Despite his reputation as the “bad guy” who makes contestants cry, it’s clear that his input is more valuable to performers than the individuals from their lives who say simply: “wow, you have a great voice.”
It takes courage to become willing to open yourself up to constructive criticism, especially around a topic so potentially intimidating as public speaking. But those who are able to learn to look at their skills objectively are the ones who get the most out of training, and who can become the most accomplished public speakers.
Presentation Training: Bottom Line Results
True story: one of our clients –we’ll call him ‘Fred’–recently reported to us that the skills he learned in our seminar helped him win back a $31 million account for his company.
Fred, a veteran sales manager from a major corporation, had been charged with maintaining, and even saving, a large, lucrative account from a Fortune 500 company. He was quite concerned that his sales team would lose the contract.
Together with a group of his colleagues, Fred spent two days with us working on his speaking skills and techniques, using the time to build and practice a presentation that he would make to his customer. We worked with him to consider his client’s perspective as a listener when planning his approach, to create a captivating opening, and to present his own company as an interested, valuable business partner that would help the client achieve and exceed their objectives.
Fred’s advanced preparation and training helped to give him a new level of confidence that apparently came through in his sales meeting, because he reported to us that his presentation went well, and that the training we provided made all the difference for him. (Fred’s actual words were more colorful, but we paraphrased it to get the PG-13 rating.)
Thanks for the feedback, Fred, and the opportunity to share your story.
If you’re like most people, you’re going to feel some fear as your turn on the podium approaches. That’s a normal reaction. Fear can be productive, because it raises adrenaline levels and helps you gain the energy you’ll need to make your presentation. But fear can also be a distraction and keep you from performing well. We’ve written about this topic in previous newsletters, but it’s always an issue that comes up in our seminars.
Preparation can play a huge role in alleviating fear or anxiety about speaking in public. If you are still a few days away from your speech, make a priority of preparing in advance. Learn your presentation well, and get comfortable with it. Practice as much as possible—either with people, in front of a mirror, or on tape. It makes a huge difference. Finally, take care of details like slides, clothing, directions, and scheduling well in advance. Plan to arrive early, get comfortable with the location, learn how everything works, and interact with your audience.
But what can you do if you experience last minute stage fright? What if you’re consumed with fear or anxiety in the car on the way, or moments before your turn to speak? Here are a few techniques to help you deal with your emotions:
Don’t forget to breathe. Take long, deep breaths. People literally forget to breathe, and this conscious process can help you relax.
Inject energy. Focus on projecting your voice, making big gestures, or moving around the stage. Energy is a great mask, and helps many speakers get past their initial fear of speaking. Go overboard with your levels of energy and passion, and you’ll appear confident and enthusiastic instead of nervous.
Get to know your audience. Many accomplished speakers take a few minutes to mingle with members of their audience in advance of their presentation. This accomplishes several purposes: it gives the speaker an outlet for that nervous energy, it helps them connect with the group they’re talking to, and it offers them an opportunity to interject an anecdote about those interactions into their speech. (Example: “I was just talking with your southern sales manager, and she said . . .”)
Let go of the outcome. Many people are nervous because they are afraid that they’ll forget something, pronounce a word wrong, or even trip while on stage. Our advice is to remember that everyone is human. No one expects you to be perfect. Be the best that you can, and don’t worry about the outcome.
Be yourself. We use this message often with our clients. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to trust yourself to BE yourself. But that’s when we see people do their best work in front of an audience. We often notice political speakers or candidates who, in trying to appear professional, seem aloof or distant and disconnected from their audience. They would be so much more successful if they let their real selves come through.
Remember that your audience won’t be able to see how you’re really feeling on the inside. They know you’re human, and don’t expect you to be perfect. If you take your presentation seriously, allow yourself plenty of time to prepare, and trust your own expertise, you’ll do a great job.
Frank Neilson
Sales Engineer
Bosch Rexroth Corporation